Welcome to Currents! This is where we ask people what their current favorites are. Same questions, different guests!

We’ve got double trouble with the two Mikes. First we have Mike Burns. He’s a writer/comedian you can find in LA. He’s super funny, super inappropriate and also one of our very favorites. His partner in comedy crime is the equally hilarious and wonderfully inappropriate Mike Bridenstine. These scumbags have one of our favorite columns on the Comedy Central studios blog called Gentlemen Scumbags, it’s a must read and you will no doubt find the worst advice possible. We will start things off with Mike Burns aka @pizzanachos69 (best twitter handle ever) with our total random Q’s. Make sure to check out his tumblr (best tumblr header ever) here and follow him on twitter to see what he’s up to.

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Serial Optimist: So Mike, what is/are your current…

Bands/songs you’re listening to?

Mike Burns: Lately, heavy listening of the deep cuts off Motley Crue’s “Shout at the Devil,” The Gaslight Anthem, Noah & The Whale, Joseph Arthur, P!nk, WWE anthems in anticipation for Wrestlemania, The Jezabels, Sleigh Bells, Son Volt, a lot of Bob Seger and Van Halen in my truck, and I can’t stop playing Monica’s “Angel of Mine.”

SO: TV shows you’re watching?

Mike: “Justified,” “Game of Thrones,” “Girls,” “Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel,” Justified,” just about every single “NCAA Tourney game,” MLB just started so Detroit Tigers games if they’re on in LA, “Justified,” “Monday Night RAW,” “Justified,” and “Justified.”

SO: Video game or board game you like to play?

Mike: I hate board games. I don’t own a video game system because I don’t think I deserve one, but I’ll probably buy a PS3 when GTA 5 comes out if things go well in the next few months.

SO: Comedian you last saw that made you laugh hard?

Mike: On stage? Hampton Yount. But all my friends are comedians. A good portion of my life is “laughing hard.” It’s an amazing thing.

SO: Dessert choice?

Mike: I’d rather eat more supper than save room for dessert, but my mom just sent me some lemon bars from Michigan she makes from scratch. They’re my favorite. I love my mom.

SO: Place you last passed out?

Mike: My couch. I have insomnia so it’s comforting to sleep there sometimes with the TV on. Usually with the Food Network or Sports Center on mute.

SO: Brand of clothing you’re into?

Mike: I got stressed about clothes a few months ago and bought a whole pile of fitted Nike sportswear for the daytime as a “uniform.” Other than that, I’m pretty much jeans, t-shirts, selvedge denim jacket, and Red Wings. Although I just got a fresh pair of Air Jordan 3’s that are so fucking horny.

SO: Brand of beer you drink?

Mike: I like Old Milwaukee if I can get it. The bar/cash and carry place we frequent called “Sunset Beer” used to have it, but then they had a distributer problem. I’m so pissed. I drink a lot of Bud Light I guess. Sure, I like a tasty beer, but my old brain can’t handle the next day haze anymore. Also, does “Dewar’s” count as “beer?”

SO: Deodorant you use?

Mike: Old Spice “Pure Sport.”

SO: How often are you currently masturbating?

Mike: Not enough. Like 3-4 times a week.

SO: Last time you cried?

Mike: Few tears from anxiety here and there, but I haven’t “cried” cried since 2007. I wish I could. I try all the time. I guess the closest was at the end of Warrior the first time I saw it.

SO: Last time you took one to the face?

Mike: A load or a fist? A fist was in 1997.

SO: Your current favorite episode of your podcast?

Mike: I liked the ones when they were still being made. We’re still considering revisiting that. But for now you can check out our Gentlemen Scumbags column on the Comedy Central Studios blog.

SO: Thing you’ll do after answering these q’s?

Mike: I have a conference call in a half hour, then I’m going to the gym. It’s max bench press day, bro. Clangin’ & bangin’. Gotta put on some lean mass for the pool season slizz. After that, I’m going to the “Ridiculousness” wrap party. I’m excited to see my writer’s room pals. I just miss them all so much.

SO: Thanks Mike!

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Mike Bridenstine, you’re up! He’s a writer/comedian who never leaves us not smiling, and is a self-described baseball slash wrestling nerd. His outrageous style of comedy can be seen in LA. As mentioned, he has a column, Gentlemen Scumbags, that you have to read as much as possible. Check out his tumblr here for a better quality of life and follow him on twitter @brido if you like funny stuff.

Serial Optimist: So Mike, what is/are your current…

Bands/songs you’re listening to?

Mike Bridenstine: I only listen to “The Game” by Motorhead, “Fuckin’ Problems” by A$AP Rocky, and “Stuntin’ Like My Daddy” by Birdman and Lil Wayne.  Until someone makes a better song.

SO: TV shows you’re watching?

Mike: “Breaking Bad,” “Game of Thrones,” and “Monday Night Raw.” “Breaking Bad” is the greatest show in television history.  This is the first season of “GoT” I’ll get to watch after reading the books. And watching WWE is like getting a hug from 1987.  Oh, and I’m trying to get people to watch “House of Cards.” Frank Underwood is like an evil, Southern Ferris Bueller.  It’s great.

SO: Video game or board game you like to play?

Mike: I’m more of a lawn bocce man.

SO: Comedian you last saw that made you laugh hard?

Mike: Pete Holmes. And Burns kills me on a daily basis. But I feel inclined to name people who are really good that you might not have heard of.  Brooks Wheelan. Andrew DeWitt.

SO: Dessert choice?

Mike: Key lime tart, pecan pie, crème brulee.  Just. Can’t. Decide.

SO: Place you last passed out?

Mike: I don’t pass out.  I’m not some amateur.  That being said, it was on my the new, super comfy couch that Kyle Kinane gave us, watching the Rolling Stones doc, Crossfire Hurricane, on HBO OnDemand.  And I’d just smoked a bunch of pot.  I’m bad at pot.

SO: Brand of clothing your into?

Mike: Brixton. I’m lucky it fits my weird body.  And I’m wearing Nike Air Trainer I’s.  Because I watched a 30 for 30 about Bo Jackson and they were half off at Undefeated.

SO: Brand of beer you drink?

Mike: I love 1642 and Sunset Beer Company in Echo Park (which just started carrying Schneider Wiesse Edel-Weisse), but when you drink as many beers as I do, it’s better to just go with domestos or you’ll be too hung over to move the next day.

SO: Deodorant you use?

Mike: I bought Old Spice Swagger because it made me laugh all by myself at the shitty Rite Aid off of Glendale.

SO: How often are you currently masturbating?

Mike: I’m not one of these “I get pussy so I don’t need to masturbate” guys.  Whenever the mood strikes and I have the time and the privacy, I’ll fire one off.  It’s not like the Internet and your imagination go away, just because you go on fancy dates.

SO: Last time you cried?

Mike: I read the Wikipedia plot summary of Sleepless in Seattle.  I’m not kidding. I was very hungover.  I was like, “That’s what happens?!!!” and welled up.  Hence my warnings about microbrews.

SO: Last time you took one to the face?

Mike: I don’t know about that, but I can’t even count the times Burns and I have ended up drunk and shirtless in a kitchen giving each other Ric Flair chops to the chest and screaming, “Wooooooo!!!”

SO: Your current favorite episode of your podcast?

Mike: We’ve had some very funny, very popular comedians on the show.  But my favorite episodes have to be with Andrew DeWitt.  He’s unfiltered (as in, he seriously doesn’t give a shit).  He’s an amazing storyteller.  And he’s basically the perfect guest for a show like ours.

SO: Thing you’ll do after answering these q’s?

Mike: Reread my answers and second-guess everything I wrote.

SO: Thanks a lot Mike!

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SO Note: Follow Mike Burns @pizzzanachos69 and his tumblr here, Mike Bridenstine @brido and his tumblr here, and their Comedy Central column Gentlemen Scumbags.