We at Serial Optimist have been lucky enough to interview a former Chelsea Lately writer and quite a few roundtable regulars. Now, we get the best of both worlds. Sarah Colonna pops up in almost every sketch on Chelsea, and always seems game to go all in regardless of how ridiculous, yet hilarious, it might make her look. She has been a staff writer for the show since the beginning, and also one of the writers for the MTV Video Music Awards which Chelsea hosted on September. 12th. She also tours nationally, and has had roles in shows such as United States of Tara, Monk, and Scare Tactics. Do you realize how smart, and seriously funny you have to be to write for a hit show every day, to tour nationally non-stop, and to pop up in small roles on hit comedies? I don’t. I can’t imagine. She does, and she makes it look easy. Continue reading for some smiles, and even some laughs.

Serial Optimist: Hi Sarah, how are you? What is going on? I’m always curious as to what the person I’m interviewing is doing at the time of responding to these questions. Are you at home? Drinking birth control-infused vodka? You know, paint the picture, if you will.

Sarah Colonna: I’m at work, answering these questions on company time. I just ate a “fun size” Snickers and washed it down with a pink Starburst. Chris Franjola just walked by and said something about his balls. It’s a pretty amazing day thus far.

SO: Tell me a little bit about your past. You grew up in Arkansas, correct? How was that? What are three things you were super into at, say, the age of 17?

Sarah: I did grow up in Arkansas. It was ok…small town. In my spare time, I did things like a drink by creeks and in the woods. By 17 I was really into Wild Turkey, Drill Team, and Taco Bell. They used to have something called the “Bellbeefer.” It was a taco on a hamburger bun. I still fill out comment cards asking for its return to the menu.

SO: People think “you are either born gay” or “you choose to be gay at some point, whenever, whatever.” So let’s replace “gay” with “funny.” Do you think people are born funny? Was there a point in your life, where you were like, “Oh shit, I’m funny, like funny enough to try and make a living at this?” If so, when was that point?

Sarah: I think if people are funny, they were born with a lot of it. Having an already in place sense of humor certainly allows you to become funnier as you grow up. I don’t know when I decided I’d try to make a living at that specifically; I just always knew I wanted to be an actress and a comedian. I can’t really do anything else, so thank God it worked out. I was really sick of bartending.

SO: Who are your favorite people to be on the roundtable with? I know you probably have to say, “I like all of them” or whatever, but you have to REALLY like being on it with certain people more than others I would think.

Sarah: I don’t like all of them, so don’t worry. No, I do. Everyone is fun. Since all the people that are on regularly are so different, you get something different with each person. That mixes it up and you don’t get too used to one person and their delivery. I think that’s what makes it work!

SO: What’s the writing room like at Chelsea Lately? I know it comes off as you all have a blast, and it’s fun and loose, but you also have to work your ass off to write each day to come up with new material for a live audience later in the afternoon. How much do things like Mel Gibson, Tiger, etc make your job easier? Are there ever weeks where there isn’t something/someone to discuss? Like a drama-free celebrity week? Are you ever left just sitting there, scratching your head like, “shit, refresh PerezHilton, something HAD to have happened in the last 5 minutes.”

Sarah: There are much better sites than Perez! He gets stuff late and doesn’t add anything to it except the drawing of a penis or cocaine. But yes, sometimes there is a slow celebrity week but if that’s the case usually someone in Florida has done something humiliating at a Chuck E. Cheese. I am glad we get to talk about stuff outside of celebrities from time to time; it keeps us from getting sick of one person. The Tiger Woods story was so good, though. It was the gift that kept on giving. We hardly had to do any real work for weeks.

SO: You tour a lot. Do you typically have fans who come to your shows, who know your style, or people who are just fans of comedy in general? More or less, for a stand-up, do certain parts of your routine work in certain places? Do you edit anything knowing you are performing in Utah compared to NYC?

Sarah: You definitely have to know where you are and be able to read the crowd. Something that works in one place may not work in another, sometimes even in the same city. Due to the success of the show, we definitely have more people coming out that know us than we did before, but there are still plenty of people that just like to go to clubs that don’t know who they are seeing. It’s fun to win them over because they aren’t a built-in fanbase. 

SO: What TV do you currently watch? What are a few of your favorite shows currently?

Sarah: I loved 24 so much, it kills me every Monday that it’s not on anymore. I love Friday Night Lights, Modern Family, and True Blood. Those are probably my favorites. I watch lots of bad reality stuff that I refuse to admit to.

SO: You seem really fit, in really good shape. I almost started this question off with, “Sarah, you have a great body,” but then realized how creepy that sounded. The point being, you do have a great body and do seem to be in good shape. Is this something that is really important to you? Do work out regularly? It seems like female comedians now not only have to be funny but also, kind of, hot? Or sex appeal. I don’t know. 

Sarah: You should have just said I had a great body; it would have been nice to get thrown a bone. I love to go Spinning, but other than that I’m not a huge fan of working out. I only do it because I have to. I would never lie and say that “Oh I don’t work out…etc.” I do and it sucks.

SO: What is your absolute, most favorite time/moment of the day?

Sarah: During the week I like 7 pm. That’s about the time I get home from work and I look forward to my couch. Weekends I like 3-5 pm that’s happy hour time. Then I like 8-10 pm. That’s dinnertime.

SO: For people who read this that don’t watch CL, or are not familiar with your stand-up or acting, can you briefly introduce yourself, your style, and your sense of humor to them? You have to somehow incorporate the words: mother earth, dentist, and Lil Wayne into your answer. And you have to take the question seriously. Go!

Sarah: I can’t possibly take this question or you seriously!

If Mother Earth were a dentist, she would ask Lil Wayne to pay her a visit. That has nothing to do with my stand-up, but I used all of those words.

SO: That’s actually great. Because if Mother Earth were a dentist, she totally would ask Lil Wayne to pay her a visit. You win a fun size snickers! Thanks so much, Sarah!

____

SO Note: (Get touring info, and all things Sarah info at her website www.sarahcolonna.net, also follow her on Twitter @sarahcolonna, and become a fan on Facebook here)